Anger

We don't fall in love hoping to argue. We don't dream of finding Our Person and think to ourselves, " Wow! When I find My Person I hope we don't get along and get to be mad at each other and walk on egg shells." If we thought that would be the case we might never commit.

Why, then, does it happen that anger become a frequent visitor and how can it change? It happens because friction is a natural part of attraction.The problem lies in the way that we handle the moments of disagreement.

If you need some support and a soothing, helpful therapist in your life right now email me and let's see how I can help you.

Repeated patterns of arguing are the worst

You have had the same argument over and over again. It's like groundhog day. Neither of you enjoy it, you always feel sad and wounded but from your point of view it seems like your partner  needs to change. If they would respond differently or just don't do that certain thing that sets you off, then things would be smooth. Of course they are thinking the same thing about you. You exhaust yourself trying to be understood, or, at the very least, heard. Nothing seems to work. It's hard to concentrate or have a lightness of heart when relationship struggles drag you down. You give up, hold it all in and avoid conflict which only builds the volcano.

We fall in love with people who are different enough from us to create a spark. It’s that “completion feeling” of interest & fascination. We feel sad & confused when the spark burns instead of warming us. It’s a baffling betrayal to our emotional logic that we can deeply love someone that we frequently fight with & sometimes emotionally dread.

There are often small choices in the moment of a disagreement that determine whether or not it will escalate or just be a hiccup

The good news is that Couples Conflict Resolution has proven methods that work. It’s learnable & helping Couples learn it is something that I specialize in.If you want to shorten the problem moments & solve things more cooperatively then Couples Therapy with an emphasis on Conflict Resolution might be a good fit for you. Give yourself the gift of more peaceful coexistence.

I am offering up to an exclusive discount on video sessions

See my dedicated fees page for all fees, payment options and several generous PrePaid Package deals.

Stay safe and be well.

Email is the best way to reach me

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards,

Laressa Desmond, PhD

CPC CA LMFT

desmondpsychology@gmail.com